South Korea Totally Sucks at Women's Basketball

SO I have this friend who used to live in South Korea. He said they treat their women's basketball players better than we treat ours. This is probably true, being that a part time Realtor makes more money, but at least we don't get absolutely destroyed on a national level. Maybe the Koreans should not respect their women's team, because like, they totally suck.

USA National Team Steamrolls South Korea 92-56

92 points has to be some sort of record. That's almost 100!

Sylvia Fowles (Chicago Sky) and Lisa Leslie (Los Angeles Sparks) combined for 36 points and 32 rebounds as the 2007-08 USA Basketball Women's National Team (2-1) upped its record to 2-1 with a dominating 92-56 victory over South Korea (1-2) on Monday afternoon at the 2008 Good Luck Beijing Tournament in China.

Can you believe they call this thing the "Good Luck Beijing Tournament"? Like good luck not being robbed or being physically abused in some way on your trip to China.

Hold on.

(Record Scratch Sound Effect)

Wait a second. We're 2-1?! We lost a game?! What the Fowles is going on here? Forget it. I'm not finishing this post. Hold on.


one sec more...


Ok here we go.

USA National Team Drops Good Luck Beijing Tournament Opener To Rival Australia

Ok, we lost, and by a pretty decent margin (74-60). Surely the reporters will rip apart this team for lack of team play, ungrittiness, unwillingness to win, not having enough grinders, or being way too arrogant. I mean, this is what they do to the men's team.

The 2007-08 USA Basketball Women’s National Team (0-1) and Australia (1-0) battled for three quarters, but the USA’s rivals from Down Under put together a 26-10 fourth quarter run that left the U.S. trailing 74-60 at the final buzzer.

Or I guess they'll just say that. And that's it. That's all the analysis. No screaming and gnashing of teeth over Candice Wiggins incredibly selfish 1-9 performance or Swin Cash's fantastically unselfless 3-10. Lindsey Harding put up an unclutch and gritless 0-5. But at least we "battled" for 3 quarters.

“Obviously the result was not what we wanted in terms of a win,” said USA head coach Anne Donovan. “But I was pleased with several things I saw out there today."

Imagine a men's coach saying this. Any coach. Even extremely garrulous former Providence College Coach Pete Gillen wouldn't say something like this. Anne! You just lost! By 14! You're not supposed to be pleased! Also, I'm putting an error syntax label on this for "the result was not what we wanted in terms of a win." So you're saying, "We didn't want to lose." Ok. Just say that next time.

Lastly, where the hell is Candace Parker? She needs to be on this team. I don't care if you kick Lisa Leslie off it. Lisa Leslie ungutsily gave birth to a baby at the expense of her team last year. I don't want those kind of character issues on my team. Do you?